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  • 作家相片Ms. CHOW

諷刺 / Satire

太諷刺了。應從哪說起?🤔

2021年6月19日上午, 是我到英國後第一次有機會見工的大日子, 不幸是那天一大清早也是被打的第一次。還記得, 被打後仍需作好預備, 收藏起受辱感🤐, 能見人的衣服仍在船運中, 就這樣見工去了。她的那句: I'm sorry, sweetheart, hope you're well 來得不可理喻。外國人總習慣硬要別人接受道歉論, 否則理論很久。🥴😅


話雖如此, 面試當天天氣很好, 過程也順利。6月時我仍忙於找樓盤、約睇地方和了解當地租約條文法規, 根本沒閒理會如何尋找工作機會。而她就硬批評我賴在房內, 自幹自活, 不事生產🙄; 指引我應多多交際, 廣結友好, 努力找工作, 賺錢租下她的「高尚」旅舍。。。嘮叨終日。回首只怪自己乖巧點頭默許她的狂妄自傲, 讓成日後不快結局。


其實我想說, 我要感謝她的催逼下, 我曾經積極深究我可以幹什麼? 🤔好似好多, 又好似不多。兩個半月後的今午, 經理寄電郵來詢問我仍有興趣倉庫員工作。面試當天, 感覺輕鬆, 倉庫比我想像大, 在港存書倉只有千多呎; 那處既整齊又繁忙, 好有工作氣氛; 在英沒有車, 故落巴士後雖徒步十多分鐘, 沿途已遇上兩位穿上該公司制服下班的朋友, 友善地指示應如何內進見工, 接待的那位青年助理態度專業又友善, 最後見到經理, 寒暄後得悉他曾居於香港, 對港感覺良好, 好奇問我為何移居英國做倉務員? 心中回應: 朋友你事太忙或太安逸, 世界大事竟無暇理會? 苦笑!😂


故事最後, 是明知不為而為知, 不義也; 故我三思後婉拒了🙇‍♀️。逃亡那夜, 我只需將十箱行季由瘋婦客廳搬運至門口, 待朋友接應, 已弄得遍體鱗傷, 紅腫難辨; 事後雖感自豪, 但風度翩翩的我, 心中已知答案: 我愛運動, 不能勞動。我會繼續支持Tesco , 我是會員, 你們呢🤗? 多謝Wayne Longley經理, 只恨我不是男兒漢💪💃。


How satire. Where should I start?🤔

In the morning of June 19, 2021, it was the first time I had the opportunity to interview when I arrived in the UK. Unfortunately, it was also the first time I was beaten in that day morning. After being beaten, I still need to do some preparations for the interview and to forget the humiliation at once🤐. I just put on a T-shirt & jean because most of apparels are being on the ship. Her confessed that I'm sorry, sweetheart, hope you're well. It sounds so ridiculous. Foreigners are always insisting others accept their apology, otherwise the conversation wasn't stop.🥴😅


I remembered that day's weather of the interview was good and the process went smoothly. In June, I was still busy on looking for a flat, making appointments for site visit, and understanding the provisions of the local tenancy agreement. I didn't even think about how to find job opportunities. And she always criticized me for staying in my room, doing my own work, no production all day🙄. She instructed me to socialize more, went to seek a job asap for renting her "noble" apartment. . . Nagging all day long. Flashback the incident, I blame myself for always nodding obediently and acquiescing to her arrogance, that caused unhappy ending.


I want to say thank for her blah, blah, blah that made me actively study what can I do? what should I do? 🤔This afternoon, two and a half months later, the manager sent an email asking me if I was still interested in working at warehouse. On the day of the interview, I felt nervous but relaxed. The warehouse was bigger than I thought. The warehouse in Hong Kong was only a thousand sq.ft.; that place was neat and busy, and there was a good working atmosphere. I don't have a car in England, so I walked for more than ten minutes after getting off the bus. I have met two staff who were leaving from work, and they kindly instructed how to get in the building. The young assistant was professional and friendly. Finally, I met the manager. After greetings, I learned that he had lived in Hong Kong and feels good, so he curious to ask why I moved to the UK as a warehouse operative? I said nothing: Hey man, are you too busy or too comfortable? so you have no time to be aware of what's happening in the world? Wry smile!😂


At the end of the story, knowing it's impossible but still attempt to achieve it, I won't. I turned it down eventually🙇‍♀️. On the night of the fleeing, I only had to carry 10 boxes of languages from the mad woman's living room to the front door, and waited for a friend to pick up. My hands & feet were bruised and swollen. Although I am pride in what I had done, I am a personable lady and that wounded given me the signal : I love workout, but not physically work. I will continue to support Tesco, I am a member, and you?🤗 Thanks to Mr. Wayne Longley. If I were a man💃, I will be ...💪

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